DOPESICK
RANT: i fucking hate Five Finger Death Punch
pic up top was chosen solely because its some shit a FFDP fan would post on fb in betweeen cop dickriding and "i hate my kids" posts
TANGENT ZONE
god do i hate the "band" Five Finger Death Punch.
they have a fucking Midas' touch when it comes to their covers, but instead of turning everything they touch into gold they actually turn it into sewage instead. Like.
Fuck man they turn everything into an anthem used in U.S. army ads no matter what the original song's content is. its kinda miraculous if you think about it! These sorry motherfuckers could turn War? by System of a Down into some sort of military propaganda slop with a single awful music video - and that is the one thing i'll commend them for, aside from having an almost supernatural power to attract fans that are dudes who wear their sunglasses on the backs of their heads and think its dope as fuck to chug a Budweiser at their sister in law's baby shower.
How do they do it?
its fascinating as hell really. im looking at their discography right now and just LOOK AT THIS SHIT!
this is the definition of ""metal"" for dudes who wear TapOut shirts and DC shoes like theyre middle schoolers in the late 2000s.
how in the fuck bro these motherfuckers were at LEAST in their mid 20s in 2007 and the for real thought "oh yeah. War Is the Answer is a badass album name" and somehow didnt cringe their ways out of one members moms basement after that discussion was had. Metal is fucking dead and FFDP killed it
let me get a real good look at these guys.
yeah they look just like what id expect them to look like - the dude pointing the finger gun at the camera dear god is it 2006 with his goddamn skeleton fingerless gloves just kill me looks like budget David Draiman from Disturbed and... fucking wait a minute.
...
.........
IS THAT FUCKING VARG VIKERNES?
i see he joined the most god awful buttrock band to ever sully (oh fuck now im thinking of godsmack i gotta write something about their annoying asses too) the ground of our scorched earth after his youtube channel got deleted for hate speech. id say good for him if he didnt have... beard dreads? and a labia on his head for some dumbass reason being in the name of "drip" when that goddamn hood is just about as "drippy" as vomit.also yes i know its not actually varg good grief i hate i have to say this just to get the peanut gallery off my ass but FUCK would i be ashamed to be a part of this dumbass band that literally just makes penis music with a "metal" aftertaste likened to that of unappetizing sludge.
yeah five finger death punch just fucking sucks. not even gonna capitalize its name or anything i dont think it deserves that grace
this is the definition of ""metal"" for dudes who wear TapOut shirts and DC shoes like theyre middle schoolers in the late 2000s.
how in the fuck bro these motherfuckers were at LEAST in their mid 20s in 2007 and the for real thought "oh yeah. War Is the Answer is a badass album name" and somehow didnt cringe their ways out of one members moms basement after that discussion was had. Metal is fucking dead and FFDP killed it
let me get a real good look at these guys.
yeah they look just like what id expect them to look like - the dude pointing the finger gun at the camera
...
.........
IS THAT FUCKING VARG VIKERNES?
i see he joined the most god awful buttrock band to ever 
written on feb 23 2023
lil yachty gif up top was chosen because its how i feel when i hear FFDP anywhere. god i hate this sorry excuse for a band
also this layout youre looking at took me an hour of troubleshooting (while drunk as fuck mind you) when it was a problem with the animation im using for my site name on the left lmfoa