DOPESICK
INCOMPREHENSIBLE MUTTERING: toilet paper
to be honest the fellow above is starting to grow on me (even if its like a parasite). when i look into his eyes i think maybe everythings gonna be okay
TANGENT ZONE
you know what i love? the idea of consumerist toilet paper.
not enough soulless corporate monoliths have taken the plunge to mass produce toilet paper with elmo or other beloved childrens characters printed onto them. im gonna say it.
like this makes me sound like a scat fetishist whos super into abdl but im just laughing my ass off at the concept of wiping your ass with themed toilet paper. it sounds so dystopian now that i think about it and that mere thought is making me wonder why nobodys capitalized on it.
like you go to drop a deuce in the carls jr restroom and rhe fucking toilet paper has their weird, perpetually tickled starfish mascot who seems a little too happy to be the face of a dying fast food chain just printed all over it. poor bastard seemingly doesnt know hes about to have his face smeared with the greasiest, most god displeasing excuse for fecal matter he will ever see. i wonder what he has seen. i feel like a starfish with humanlike eyes will live to see manmade horrors far, far beyond its invertebrate comprehension. but little do you know, hes secretly excited. very excited.
written on mar 2 2023
look at that happy asshole up there man im honestly jealous of him. what does he have to be so smiley about bro hes the face of the fast food chain where a starving family whos been on the road for 9 hours will see it, go "nah" and pass straight by it with no hesitation